I can't breathe out the right side of my face
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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