party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
