Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
