he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
