i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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