Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize