Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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