Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
