Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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