ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
