yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
