so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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