don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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