Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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