Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
