I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think my vagina is haunted
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
