The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
