Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
