According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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