how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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