Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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