i just sent this text using only my big toe
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
