Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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