would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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