somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
