I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
