His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
