I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
