Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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