Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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