:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
