I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
