there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
