peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
