So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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