As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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