wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So here I am, sexting at work.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
