Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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