my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
