i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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