you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
