ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I want her autograph on my taint
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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