the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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