I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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