normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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