Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize