I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
