he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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