i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize