so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
