How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize