Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
