make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
