i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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