Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
