you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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