my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
