D3 body, D1 cock
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
