I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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