if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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