I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
