I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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