How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
