3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i dont even know how to be here
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize