A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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