awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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