I wannas sexs uuuuu
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
