It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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