Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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