Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
