HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
