how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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